khitbah (Engagement) in Islam
Engagement in Islam | What can an engaged couple do in Islam?
What is Engagement in Islam? Engagement in Islam or Khitbah in Islam, when a man finds a Muslimah of good attributes for marriage, his next step will be Engagement in Islam from her or ask her family. This act of proposal is referred to as Engagement in Islam.
At first, Islam recommends that a man see and talk to the woman he wants to marry, but in the presence of her Mahrams. The Prophet (S.A.W.) told his companion Al-Mughirah Ibn Shu`bah to see the woman he wanted to marry, so that they may develop feelings toward each other.
Engagement in Islam is a marriage proposal from a man to a woman. A woman may ask for a certain time to think and weigh up the Engagement. She has the right to accept or reject the Engagement according to the rules of Engagement in Islam. If she accepts it, then we called the woman a Makhthubah, or engaged one.
Betrothal in Islam
Betrothal in Islam, Engagement in Islam, and according to Sharee’ah it means that the man asks the woman to marry him. The view of the scholars is that Engagement in Islam is prescribed for one who wants to get married.
Allah says:
“And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal…”
The Messenger of Allah encouraged the one who wants to get engaged to look at the woman to whom he wishes to Engagement in Islam. According to the hadeeth,
“When any one of you proposes marriage to a woman, if he can look at that which will encourage him to go ahead and marry her, then let him do so.”
Romance in Islam before marriage
What about Romance in Islam before marriage. However, according to Engagement in Islam, engagement to a woman does not give a man permission to do more than see her and talk to her in a safe Islamic environment; the laws of decency in Islam must be strictly followed.
Current practices in which a man is alone with the woman he wants to marry, or touches her are against Islam. They are a result of not understanding Islam and mixing Islam with foreign traditions. They are not allowed at all to do such things before the marriage covenant is signed.
Halal Engagement in Islam, And Haram Engagement in Islam
Is Engagement in Islam Halal? And When Haram Engagement in Islam? A Muslim man may not propose to an engaged woman before her first fiancé withdraws or gives him permission.
The Prophet (S.A.W.) said:
{A man must not propose to his brother’s Engagement in Islam unless he withdraws or gives him permission.} (Al-Bukhari).
For it is not permissible for anyone to enjoy a woman strange to him, not by speaking with her, nor by looking at her, nor by staying in privacy with her.
It is authentically reported from the Messenger that he said:
“A man should not stay in seclusion with a woman except that one who is her Mahram is there. And a woman should not make any journey except that one who is her Mahram is with her.”
It is not permissible for a man to ask for the hand of a woman who cannot be married such as a woman that is mahram, married, unmarried but still within the Iddah period, a Makhtubah, and during Ihram until he completes his Ihram.
The basis of this prohibition is the following hadith:
“A Muhrim (one in the state of Ihram) must not contract marriage, nor help others contract marriage, nor get engaged to marry.”
A Muslim man may not ask a woman who is already married to another man to ask for a divorce from that man and marry him. The marriage contract may not be concluded when the woman is in her `Iddah (the period that follows divorce).
Engagement in Islam is sunnah or Mustahab?
Ash-Syafi’iyah scholars consider Engagement in Islam ‘khitbah’ as sunnah or Mustahab, arguing that before the Prophet (SAW) was married to Aisha and Hafsah, he proposed Engagement in Islam ‘khitbah’ to them first and announced the marriage.
Watch the Engagement is sunnah
Allah says:
“There is no blame upon you for that to which you [indirectly] allude concerning a proposal to women or for what you conceal within yourselves. Allah knows that you will have them in mind. But do not promise them secretly except for saying a proper saying. And do not determine to undertake a marriage contract until the decreed period reaches its end…” (QS. Al-Baqarah: 235)
Announcement of Engagement in Islam
It is permissible to announce Engagement in Islam especially to let people know that the door is closed.
In Islam, announcing Engagement means that a Muslim already asks the girl for marriage, and she agreed, so no other Muslim, according to Engagement in Islam, is permissible to engage her.
However, one can conceal Engagement in Islam if he fears envy or that some people may feel jealous for any reason. Prophet Mohammed (SAW) Said:
“Take help in fulfilling your needs by concealing them. For indeed every favored person is envied.”
Islamic Engagement ring “Dublah”
Islamic Engagement ring, there are no specific practices that must be followed regarding Engagement in Islam. What some Muslims do like announcing the Engagement in Islam, and having a party to celebrate and exchanging gifts, all are accepted.
Islamic Engagement gifts
Also, Islamic Engagement gifts all come under the heading of customs which are permissible according to Engagement in Islam. Islamic Engagement gifts include the exchange of rings of Engagement between the engaged couple, a custom which is known in Arabic as “Dublah.”
‘Dublah’ is a word that refers to the Islamic Engagement ring. And it is not permissible for the man at Engagement in Islam to put the ring on the woman’s hand himself, because she is not yet his wife. So she is still a stranger (non-mahram) to him; she is not his wife until after the marriage contract is done.
What is the Difference between Engagement in Islam and marriage in Islam?
the Difference between Engagement in Islam and marriage in Islam is clear. Engagement is merely a promise of marriage, but the two Muslims are still strange to each other. What is only permissible is to talk and look to each other to know if they will be able to continue with that marriage or not.
So, no touching, nor being alone with your future wife is permissible, according to Engagement in Islam.
Summary
Upon establishing the Engagement in Islam until the performing the marriage contract ‘Aqdun-Nikaah’, Muslim males and females are still strange to each other. The rulings of the Shari’ah regarding a strange Muslim and Muslimah (female Muslim) should also guide their relations.
Engagement in Islam differs from marriage, as Engagement in Islam is considered the marriage gate. Through Engagement in Islam, you can forward to the next step, whether to continue with that marriage or rethink for another suitable partner.
The Muslimah has the right either to accept or reject the proposal. If she accepts and the contract ‘Aqid’ is established in the presence of at least two witnesses, it would be referred to as marriage contract ‘Aqdun-Nikkah’ after being called Engagement in Islam.
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